An End is A Beginning

Presented at The Voices of Archipelago: Festival Islam Kepulauan 2024 in the Netherlands, Hadi Aktsar's installation performance, "An End is A Beginning," explores the profound cycle of life and death through a traditional Indonesian Muslim graveyard installation. Featuring wooden headstones and flower-covered soil, the piece evokes questions about our ultimate destination: heaven, hell, or something beyond. What kind of life should we live before death?

At the heart of the installation, Hadi performs a poignant monologue as an Indonesian man who marries his male partner in the Netherlands, confronting the struggles of being a homosexual in a conservative society. Facing familial rejection, cultural conflicts, and a challenging marriage marked by spiritual and material disconnect, he grapples with a profound sense of belonging. When his mother’s death calls him back to Indonesia, he is overwhelmed by grief and regret. At her grave, he unwraps her final gift—a sarung and peci—symbols of her enduring hope that he would one day embrace his role as a good son and leader.

Moved by this realization, Hadi symbolically sheds his female attire, donning the sarung and peci to honor his late mother. Through this act, the performance closes with a stirring reflection on identity, devotion, and the cycles of change, underscoring the idea that every ending carries the seeds of a new beginning.